If You Feel LOST In Life WATCH THIS (Finding Purpose In Life) | Jay Shetty

bit of a prequel just because it's important okay so i spent my teens being an absolute rebel and i was always experimenting with everything under the sun multiple relationships uh dabbled in drugs a little bit nothing for the form of addiction or wanting anything else apart from really seeking a thrill right like i was looking for a thrill i was looking for meaning i was looking for passion and purpose but for me at that time i didn't know what that was called and it kind of came out in all these rebellious ways and i think that also came from coming from a family where it's very much like live by the rule you know you can be a doctor a lawyer or a failure right like you've got these three options and then i was trying to rebel and question that the most important thing was that i spent a lot of my teens starting at the later end of my teens really wanting to learn right and really wanting to hear from people who went from rags to riches and it just hit you

it was one of those things like i have more purpose no it was it was a mixture of a few things okay my dad was trying to get me to read now i'd never read a book until i was 14 until my dad started giving me autobiographies and biographies and those were the books i started reading so i read like david beckham's autobiography and i read the rocks autobiography interesting people i was massively into soccer and masculine wrestling so both of those were huge for me um you said soccer and not football i did i've had to i've been living here for three years now and i i want to call it real football right uk i went to afc last night so i'm trying but it was that feeling of my father was trying to help me grow and think and be more thoughtful and introduce me to wisdom and at the same time i was just going through experiences where i lost a couple of friends you know one of my friends died in a car accident and one of my friends died through gang violence and like both of those scenarios like made me start to question like wait a minute like they were good people right they were like beautiful loving kind sweet people but they just went in a moment and and that really got me that yeah like i was around 16 years old when that happened wow and that really hit me and i was just like what is the meaning of life

 like where am i going like am i using my time wisely you never saw that coming and i think when you lose someone that's close to you whoever that may be i think it makes you question what you do with your own time right and that's what happened to you and that's what happened to me and that's what kind of started that journey a couple of years later i was invited to an event by my friend and so this monk was invited to speak and i didn't even want to go and i literally said to my friend i said i'll only go if we go to a bar afterwards like that's the only way i'm coming out the reason i'm saying all this is i want people to realize how opposite this was of me right because it's not like i grew up as a spiritual kid or a religious kid or a kid that was i was totally the opposite and then i go to this event because my friends say yes we'll go to the bar afterwards i'm completely flawed and speechless because everything this monk is saying is completely cutting through to my heart wow and he's talking about like selflessness and he's talking about service and he's talking about living a life that is worth of sacrifice for other people and i'm thinking why is this appealing to this 18 year old guy but it is like all of it's appealing to me i end up spending time with him afterwards you know like you network so i went to network for the monk and an appreciated card yeah exactly

 can i get you a drink and then and then and i go up to him and i say you know everything you said like really connected with me it really felt powerful to me and i said i'd love to experience more of this and he said well why don't you come and join me this week i'm i'm traveling in london in england so why don't you just come and hear me this week speak and get to know me better and i did and then that led to me actually going to live with him in india so i spent all of my summer holidays we didn't say vacation summer holidays from 18 to 22 while i was at university every break i got half of it i spent interning at financial companies in london and so i'd be in bars steakhouses and suits and then i'd spend the other half of my summers living as a monk in india dressing in robes meditating sleeping on the floor and then when i graduated i decided to do it for real so i had all those correct correct yeah three years yeah that's right what were you doing in the monastery exactly so we would wake up at 4 a.m every day and half of our day was dedicated to self or silence and the other half was service self or silence yeah so you'd spend half the day working on yourself so that means self study self meditation silence uh group meditations prayer the type of things you expect monks to do right and that's like half of your day okay but then the other half is totally about service so we would be building schools we'd be feeding homeless children we'd be uh trying to develop sustainable villages and food distribution programs that were helping and serving tons of people in india

 and so i chose this part because it was this perfect balance between self and service and the way it was taught to us is that everything you do in the part of the self day then go and give it away in the service and you learn more and then you come back and do more self-realization and then service it's like a cycle yeah exactly three years in i had pushed my body to extreme limits like fasting fasting and i'd sleep very little because i wanted to see the power of meditation i had this side of me that wanted to make what i was learning even more relevant even more accessible even more practical and this is all in hindsight i didn't know this then and my teacher said to me that he felt it would be better if i left so i could share what i'd learned wow and so he wasn't kicking you out well it felt like that because at that time i didn't have this hindsight of oh yeah maybe i was in the wrong place or maybe i'd done my time at that time i was like i want to do this and i'm pushing and literally he comes out and he's just like you know it's not you it's me it's like it feels like one of these awkward breakup conversations and i'm thinking i just gave up everything like i broke up with my girlfriend i left you know all my jobs i turned down my jobs i left my family like i gave up everything to do this but then it was like this revelation both internally and from him or i was like maybe this isn't right for me for life

 and that probably is one of the hardest things to ever have to go through if you've made a plan and a vision in your mind of how you want your life to look like and then it feels like it's just been taken away and mine was to be a monk which sounds like the weirdest thing but if someone takes that away from you it hurts well that's an interesting statement because it's like you felt a calling to be a monk but then your teacher said oh no i think that there's been a different calling for you what's the difference for you between a calling and a desire because it sounds like you had both oh i like that yeah that's a great question that's a great question a desire is something that you push and a calling is something that pulls you right that's the difference and you're right i think you're spot on i think it was both i don't think i was naturally meant to be a monk i was someone who was trying to rediscover myself and work through so much of my teenage years it was for a moment for me it was a transformation it was like going to school but at the same time it turned into a calling because i got so fascinated by serving and i got so fascinated by wanting to make an impact and i got so fascinated by wanting my life to mean more than just being successful or just being material and i think that's what i got introduced to my belief is that like you have to do the work in order to get to where you are or where you want to be and there's so much like empty prayer or empty meditation that goes into so much of people's desires or wants or callings and i think that sometimes we just have to either be still and wait for that moment to pull us or be proactive in what it is that you truly want to do because you were being proactive and going and talking to that monk correct you were being proactive in spending your summers with him but then it was a pulling that took you to actually go live in the monastery so it's like it does take both yeah to get to where you want to be i couldn't agree with you more i did a podcast a few months ago and it's called the myths of manifesting and and i think that's really one of the myths that we have that we just believe that just thinking and just willing and just meditating or just praying and suddenly someone's going to sprinkle some fairy dust and proof yeah like the genie is going to turn up and

 you know you now are that person i think the is that we have to get the balance right and it can't be about the result i think wanting and desire is always about the result the calling is about the process calling is something you're excited to wake up and do every day when you have a desire it's just like oh yeah i want to be on the top of that list or i want to be at the top of that yeah because we have desires in our career 100 but we also have a calling to be where we are today it's the balance it's both together right you want to do the prayer and the meditation and the manifesting but then you want to go and follow that up and do the work and go do the meetings and the strategy you have to embrace polarities and what i mean by that is people are like do i need to be sincere or do i need to be strategic i'm like you need to be both sincerity and strategy together is a lethal combination whereas if you're just sincere then you're not practical if you're just strategic then you're not intentional and you don't want to be lost by either of those you want to have both there you go faith is important to you and you talk about it a lot but i want to know what faith is for you because for me faith is very important faith is something that grounds me it's the center of who i am it's my calling it's my desire it's all of those things but what is faith to you faith to me like the two polarities is the day-to-day practices and the map so it's the thing that's guiding every decision right it's the thing that's guiding every direction that i move in it's the thing that guys who i want to be friends with who i want to connect with the type of work i want to do but then it's also what i do daily and to me that's what's so beautiful about faith that it can be practical and simple but then it can be philosophical and spiritual yeah and so to me faith is both because if i'm not practicing on a daily basis how can it last and if it's not the governing thing behind all my decisions then how is it true

 like how is it real how is it your moral compass also exactly yeah so for me it's both of those things at all times and so it's everything i do in the morning so my meditation practices my prayer the way i communicate how i speak to my wife like i think all of those things how i speak to anyone right i think all of those things are my faith and at the same time it's like do i am i doing this out of love am i doing this out of service am i taking this decision just because it pays the bills and just because it makes money or am i doing this just because i think it would be cool it's the same as it's so funny you asked me this question because i was speaking to someone about you just before coming on the show today yes i was saying one of the things i love about ashley and why i think we get along so well and we find it so easy to connect is because we both have such deep faith yes and i said i always find it easier when you meet someone who has their faith and it may be different but they're open yep and then you just connect if you want even more videos just like this one make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here i'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book think like a monk from think like a monk monkbook.com check below in the description to make sure you order today